Dear friend of friend,
I don't need you either.
Sincerely,
Heartbroken. :(

Dear taken,
I don't know who you are, but I will find you, and I will kiss you. I have a particular set of skills. Skills that make people like you fall in love.
Sincerely,
Neeson.

Dear pianist,
Lets make beautiful music together.
Sincerely,
Composer.

Dear Mumford,
You're okay, call me when you win a Grammy.
Sincerely,
Skrillex.

Dear taco enthusiast,
You're a little too old for me, and my height isn't really your business.
Sincerely,
Nachos.

Dear gorgeous,
You had your chance.
Sincerely,
Stunning.

Dear beauty,
We can make it work. We just have to try.
Sincerely,
beast.

Dear tall dark handsome,
You're a little bit creepy... I'd appreciate it if you didn't follow me around in the woods at night :/
But I'm falling for you anyway.
Sincerely,
Jackson.

Dear hair everywhere,
Hair. Everywhere.
Sincerely,
Harry.

Dear Kira...

Dear stubborn glass,
I feel like you're really cold. Why the rejection?
Sincerely,
shivering.

Dear hipster,
They're not as good as you say they are, but i still respect your opinion.
Love,
tasteless.

Dear tazer,
That was shocking! You're electric! Lets make a circuit ;)
Sincerely,
Don't taze me bro.

Dear helicopter,
It's toilet time for tiny town.
Sincerely,
el Barto.

Dear 5'8",
Hi again, try other things. There's more to life than your favorite succulent hobbies. Like me.
Sincerely,
frustrated.

Dear angel,
I feel like we met in a previous life.
Love,
Mere mortal.

Dear walking on ice,
You should wear grippier shoes.
Sincerely,
Ice is dangerous.

Dear bridge,
Be taller. When I jump I want it to work.
Sincerely,
Gravity.

Dear mustache,
One quick shave and you would be my perfect girl.
Sincerely,
Caterpillar kiss.

Dear copycat,
It's okay if you want to dress like me, I look good.
Sincerely,
Snazzily dressed man.